One of the benefits of training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu that I love the most is the opportunity to learn a new skill at this stage in my life. I began my training at 40 plus years of age, having already achieved career and personal success. As a professional musician, I understand what it means to achieve a certain level of mastery in a skill. Although I’m always striving to improve my skills as an artist, I found it quite refreshing to begin learning a new skill at which I’m a complete beginner.
The Challenge of the Ego
What has proven exceptionally difficult for me to completely release my ego from the learning process. I found it exceptionally difficult to learn to be an absolute beginner at something again. I suppose it’s even more difficult with BJJ as the consequences are so extreme (getting choked, having limbs bent beyond their natural range of motion, etc) and the outcome of our sparring sessions is devoid of subjectivity.
Over the past several months, I’ve focused only on showing up for class at my BJJ academy regularly, opening my mind and my heart, and releasing the ego completely. I understand intellectually that this is part of the process, but I suspect that being an 40 plus year old beginner and simply being at a stage in life where being the beginner in the situation is a rare occurrence, I found it difficult. I noticed a profound change. I learn much more quickly, I understand more of what’s being taught, and I can notice my game starting to improve in little ways. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a constant battle to just try to suck a little bit less each time, but I try to not even go that far. I consider it an accomplishment to show up for class regularly, put in 100% effort, and most importantly, let go of any ego and simply focus on opening the mind and heart.
I’m really enjoying this new place. I’m enjoying class much more, and I’m learning to live in the moment more. It doesn’t matter if I tap constantly or can’t execute a new sweep during a roll. I take pleasure in just being on the mats, putting in the work, and enjoying the camaraderie of my teammates and instructors.
It’s incredibly refreshing to have been able to rekindle the sense of wonder while learning that we experience as children. I’m grateful to BJJ for helping me to find that space as it’s had a profound effect both on and off the mats.